Thursday, November 22, 2007

Look, Ma, No Abs!

Maybe it's the jealous bitch in us, but we're tired of Geri Halliwell's abs. Maybe it's not the abs we're sick of, but the talk about the abs. Maybe we'd like someone to talk about us for a change. Maybe we're just a jealous bitch.

Maybe we're also wondering how the Roberto Cavalli sketch for the the upcoming Spice Girls tour adequately portrays only the bone-planed Posh as an identifiable body. This is fairly threatening. We have issues with facelessness. Then again, even the artistically challenged could probably do a credible job with Posh. Easy. Maybe not. My interpretation, right.

Also easy is the bustier/legging combo that mimics more than half of Posh's personal wardrobe. Too easy. We're really worried about this. No, we're not. Cavalli isn't doing cliché, he's doing caricature. Irony! Serious literary theme!

The outfit that inspired this design irritates me and has for some time; we wait for her to have a case of the vapors, but then we remember whalebone went out with the Jazz Age and that we will rot with the Schadenfreude.

Halliwell's absent abs are a relief here, since they dominated the "Headlines" video and the buzz surrounding the video. However, her design seems to be the anonymous costume of an Ice Capades chorus girl and not really reflective of Halliwell's transcendent, emotive personality. Huh?

The idea behind Baby Bunton's half-bride, half-can can outfit appears to have originated in the film Valmont. Specifically, the 18th-century skirtless dress worn by Fairuza Balk on the eve of her intended introduction to womanhood. Since Baby Bunton has recently had a baby Bunton and is as yet unmarried to pub cook Jade Jones, perhaps the not-quite-a-bride apprehension is just ridiculous inference on our part. We wonder why we care.

We don't recognize either of the Mels and figure we could find their counterpart at any London disco around New Year's Eve--this is England, after all.

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